I keep getting requests for a new blog post about all my projects I've been working on... or my Christmas decor... I've started both, but neither have made it to "publishing". I'm just having trouble getting myself to take the time to upload pictures. You see, the laptop doesn't like to upload my pictures, and the husband doesn't like all my thousands of MB of pictures taking up space on his computer. The problem is, my desktop is in the room that is cold, messy, distracting with too many other projects to work on, no comfortable chair, and no Christmas tree lights to squint my eyes and stare at for hours on end. Sitting at the desktop is just no fun. So until I get a little bit more motivation, we'll have to do with some lists.
I like lists. Lately I like to make lists for everything. Then I write the list down in 3 different places. Then I rewrite and revise the lists. They're mostly to-do lists, and they mostly never get accomplished. Here's my lists on thoughts on pregnancy... since that seems to be the most prevalent thing on my mind at all times lately.
(in no particular order)
Ten best things about pregnancy
1. Feeling like I always have a secret... something that is temporarily all mine and no one else's.
2. My boobs get bigger :)
3. Strangers seem much more kind and courteous
4. Being able to use pregnancy as an excuse to con strangers into being more kind and courteous (like convincing them to let you cut in line for example) ... not that I do that sort of stuff....
5. Feeling kicks and wiggles and watching my belly wave like the ocean
6. sex dreams. (just keeping it real here!)
7. Not feeling so guilty about sleeping in until noon :)
8. Looking at cute baby clothes!
9. Imagining tiny little fingers and toes and fuzzy heads and cute little cheeks that I'll one day get to snuggle with :)
10. Nesting instincts. I get sooo much more accomplished when these hit!
11. Always getting dibs on using the bathroom first :)
12. Getting free upgrades on airplanes and in hotels (haven't gotten to take advantage of it this time around but I did a lot when I was pregnant with Hayden).
13. Not feeling like I should change out of my sweats after 3 days of wearing them, just to go to the grocery store.
14. Decorating and organizing the baby's room.
Ten most ANNOYING things about pregnancy
1. weird dreams... like dreams that keep you wondering all day long why the heck you dreamed about that. and yes, sex dreams go in this category too.
2. That in-between time when no one can really tell you're pregnant, but you feel very overly pregnant
3. People assuming I can eat all you want now, but really it's the only time in my life that I actually REALLY watch what I eat and try to be healthy.
4. The doctors telling me to exercise more and to start "training for a marathon". ugh!
5. Getting scolded for how much weight I've gained, too quickly.
6. My personal identity disappearing, and suddenly the only thing I'm known for is "being pregnant"
7. Going through more than one pair of underwear in a day... especially annoying when it's more than two... or three... or when I run out of underwear before laundry day comes.
8. Prenatal vitamins. gross. huge.
9. Acne worse than when I was in high school
10. Not being able to eat the cookie dough :(
11. My crotch feeling like it got attacked by a baseball bat
12. Acid Reflux ALL.THE.TIME.
13. Listening to random strangers tell stories about how "this one thing happened to my cousin's husband's best friend's pregnant wife...."
14. Getting in and out of my car that is obviously too low to the ground for a pregnant woman.
15. People being overly cautious of me. Like suddenly it's not safe for me to stand on a chair to hang something on the wall.... ......
16. crying at everything. Like billboards. Or cell phone and toilet paper commercials.
17. Not being able to wear my cute high heels without falling over
18. Not being able to look sideways while in an elevator or escalator without falling over.
19. Some of my favorite foods and smells are suddenly disgusting to me.
20. Only being able to take Tylenol for pain... because I might as well eat a Smartee
21. Everybody suddenly seems to walk WAY too fast...
22. My butt hurts. Technically it's my pelvic bone. Either way, I hurt, down there, all the time.
23. Excuse me while I go pee...again...
Ten most annoying things PEOPLE SAY.... *and my response (if I had the guts)
1. How are you feeling? *pregnant. fat. hungry. my butt hurts. i just peed my pants again. annoyed that you're the 50th person to ask me that today.your breath smells
2. You're having a boy. I can tell.
3. How are you feeling?
4. Are you sure you're not having twins? *Are you sure YOU are not pregnan?? 'cause you're looking awfully fat...
5. How are you feeling?
6. You're barely even showing, in fact, you're smaller than last time. *Really? Is that why all my maternity clothes are TOO SMALL and my belly knocks things over as I walk through the stores, and everyone stares at me?
7. How are you feeling?
8. So was this planned? *seriously? Do I look 16 to you? Yes this was planned. (I had a stranger ask me this recently)
9. You look cuter in maternity clothes than you do in regular clothes. *Wow. Thanks. I'm not quite sure how to respond to this one.
10.Are you nervous about the pain during delivery?? *ummm... would YOU be nervous if you knew you had to push out an 8 pound turd? Yeah, I thought so.
11. Are you pregnant? *no. I just walk around all day with a basketball under my shirt for kicks and giggles.
12. Can I feel your belly? *ALWAY, I mean ALWAYS asked by a really nasty, creepy looking stranger in a check-out line at the store.
13. How are you feeling?
Okay- so I'm obviously not good at keeping lists to just 10 things, but it felt nice to share my thoughts :) Now I'm off to arrange my 12 pillows in the bed so I can attempt to fall asleep before the pain hits.
9 comments:
Hilarious! I love it!!! I sooo can relate. I really think someone should write a book on what NOT to say to a pregnant woman. I have people tell me all the time, "You're getting much, much bigger!" I get this from women who have been pregnant and know what it is like to be pregnant! Seriously, have you forgotten how big you feel when you are pregnant? The one that always gets me, though, is when people find out I'm due in March and they say, "Not until March?" Yes, I'm huge....thank you!
I think you should add to the not so fun things about pregnancy about how when you roll over in bed it is like making a six point turn! And why does the pelvic bone have to start hurting so early on when you are pregnant with your second? Owie!
Good post, Laura! Love it. Even with all the not so fun things, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. There is nothing more special than watching your belly move and feeling that little one kick you repeated...even when it hurts! I love being pregnant.
Love it! And forgive me for stealing and adding/subtracting from your list. I promise to give due credit where it is deserved! But you seriously have me in pain from laughing... oh! Add that to your not so great list...
Wow honey...just wow, this is what kept you up until 1 am? You are hilarious when you stay up late.
1st of all i love Dirk's comment. LOL. as to the rest thank you laura i might have been starting to think about getting pregnant again in the nest few months but you've definatly put the kabash on that one. You just reminded me of all that i hated about being pregnant. But so funny. totally with you on the sex dreams good and bad and the toilet paper commercials. I had to put my hand down and say no country music during the last 4 months of my pregnancy because i ended up balling on my way to work when "if i could write a letter to me came on". Love the lists hang in there almost done. at least there making a mistake with the sex of the baby before they see it i don't know how many times kyler got called a girl even up to a few months ago. And about your belly you aparently need a pic up if your that big because the last i saw of you you looked great!!! I can't beleive someone actually told you you looked better in maternity clothes and i hate it when people say you look so cute being pregnant when you feel like a huge poll in the middle of a circus tent. anyway again almost done and then you'll have a beautiful baby girl to play with and it will all be worth it.
Ever since I was pregnant I still cry at everything. It's embarrassing. I was pregnant during the primary race and any time I heard or watched anything about Mitt Romney it was waterworks. Pretty silly. I'm glad you can find so many good things about being pregnant... They say you're supposed to forget all the bad things so you'll want to do it again but so far I haven't.
hahaha. . .LOVE IT! I got so sick of "you're not due til WHEN?!" and "Are you sure its not twins?" Oy vey. I told Doug the next time I get pregnant he needs to make a shirt for me that says, "Only if I can touch yours first" for all the belly rubbers. He thought it sounded vaguely dirty and was therefore that much funnier.
I love your last list! It is so true about what people will say or ask pregnant people. I often feel like suddenly all the normal rules don't apply and you can say whatever is on your mind to a pregnant person. I'd like to say, hell0? Did you see I'm pregnant? This usually means slightly more hormonal than usual which then means you can hurt my feelings. I had a lady tell me the other day I looked like I was about to pop. My response was I hope not since I'm not due for almost three more months. Then today I was told I looked like I was going to have twins. I wanted to tell the person that I was pretty sure I still weighed less than them. Anyway I feel you.
You crack me up Laura with your realities of being pregnant. I didn't like people asking me how I was feeling all the time either. It's like it the only thing they can come up with but they are just being nice.
Ha ha LOVE IT! I actually had a customer or a zillion ask me when I was due....and one day when i was feeling rather pissy I tilted my head raised my eyebrows and said No I've just gained a bit of weight....LoL should have seen the look on her face!
Post a Comment